Honesty is what I'm thinking about today.
from I waste so much time
We all make mistakes, I know this, but what will help our little ones to be brave enough to come clean and keep clean.
What I want to see in my children is Integrity. I want them to do what they say and say what they do.
Why be honest when you can lie your way out of consequence, hurt feelings, guilt? You can sweep so much dirt under a rug. I want these kids (and myself) to completely understand why it's important to keep even the hidden parts of your floors clean.
I also want to make sure that they understand how honesty and compassion mix. For the most part, I would say that you keep your honest thoughts to yourself and use them to work on yourself not others.
Wow, it's hard to keep this short.
I would love to hear what you guys say to your kids to help them or what your parents said to you that helped you.
It's a challenge to raise children with integrity, but I think modelling the behavior is powerful. To not just tell my kids to "say you're sorry" to the other, but when I am at fault to get on my knees and look them in the eyes and say, "I am so sorry for xyz, will you forgive me?" As far as honesty, I believe just making your conversations a safe place to tell the truth...and finding out the heart matter, the "WHY" did they hide the truth. Funny you mentioned keeping the floors clean...I just posted Monday about how God showed me grace through my new vacuum. LOL I liked your post Tara! You have a powerful platform and following, and it's nice to see your heart in a different way. (Jenster76)
ReplyDeleteLove this post, baby girl! You amaze me every day! God bless you and may he give you the wisdom to raise your babies for the Lord!
ReplyDeleteTo train our children in the way they should go is definitely no small undertaking. Its interesting how most of us at one time or another have thought that lying would be a easy escape or a quick rescue. Yet, like you said, it's just a cover up to whats really there.
ReplyDeleteIts funny, because just this day, I was thinking back to my school years where I really had to learn the hard lessons of lying and telling the truth. I'm so glad I did too. I changed and really noticed a place inside me having more peace.
I guess that is what I would like to highlight to my son, is that honesty has peace connected to it. Even if the original action is wrong, its better to let it come to the light then to cover it up and have no peace. Good thought provoking post Tara! Thanks for letting us share our thoughts on it too.
Just be a good example....My babies now have babies of their own and I'm very proud to say they are doing a wonderful job of bringing them up using the example we gave to them. Recently our youngest daughter said to me...'we trust you to look after our children when we can't cos you did such a brilliant job of bringing us up'. It's the most important job I've ever done and I'm rather proud to say we didn't do a bad job :-)
ReplyDeleteKeep up the good job you are doing.
Hugs,
A x
Qué tema tan importante y vital has tocado, yo tengo sólo dos niños y los crío sola pues estoy separada de su padre. Todos los días me pregunto si lo estoy haciendo bien o que puedo mejorar para lograr que sean honestos, auténticos y felices, que vivan sin dañarse y sin dañar al otro, pero no hay recetas, creo que el amor que hay en el corazón de cada madre nos dirige en el rumbo a seguir, sólo hay que confiar, en Dios y en nosotras de que hacemos lo mejor que podemos.
ReplyDeleteHonesty can be encouraged if people would treat it with compassion. I believe kids tend to lie because of fear. So when something goes wrong, I try to be honest with my kids by telling them that I'm angry at what happened but I'd forgive them if they tell me the truth. So when they come off with the truth, I give them a hug instead of a spanking. Then when emotions are settled, that's the time I try to point out the mistake. If they did something wrong "on purpose," that's the time I give them a certain punishment.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with being honest and keeping "even the hidden parts of our floor clean". I love that you said it that way, it's so easy to relate to! Honesty is the most important part in any relationship!!!
ReplyDeleteThough what is wrong with saying that god says so. After all god is our creator and our father and who knows what's better for us than our father. He sees what is bad for us before we can understand it.
I am a muslim so i often have to explain to my son that muslims do certain things and avoid others. I am always honest about everything with him, i try not to water things down for him (although he is only 3). If i respond with something such as 'because God says so' then i explain why God says that. I think when we water things down for kids, or tell so called white lies, we lose some of our integrity and they loose some respect for us.
ReplyDeleteAqeela, xx
I believe in the One, true God, too. So the Bible is our guide book since it is His words. So I share with them what Scripture says and encourage them to honor the Lord, their Creator and Redeemer, in all that they do. Easier said than done (I speak from experience) and then I talk about His great patience and forgiveness. Enjoy your blog! Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post friend :) I appreciate that you're willing to talk about this stuff. I can't say that I have any advice, but I think the fact that you are so self aware concerning this issue means you're doing something right! I think what Aqeela said about EXPLAINING why we do or don't do something is definitely important. When I was a kid I responded really poorly to adults telling me not to do things... maybe if they'd explained why I would've learned the heart of the issue :)
ReplyDeletexoxo
Janee
www.yellowbirdyellowbeard.blogspot.com
When Everly was born,ergo baby carrier I wore her exclusively in my moby wrap and it was absolutely perfect for carrying a tiny,ergo baby carrier canada snuggly newborn and keeping her warm during the winter months - but as she’s grown, it has stopped offering the back support I need to haul ergo baby carrier around a 16 + pounder (not to mention all that fabric is HOT in the NC summertime).
ReplyDeleteI think you are an honest good guy so just try the Women's leather tote handbags at http://www.cwmalls.com and honestly its really good!
ReplyDeleteI'm 50 now and a mother of 2 teens and I'm a firm believer that the way our children learn the most and we teach the best is by example. No matter what you do ... It's how you do that shows who you are ... And your children sooner or later follow your example. I do believe God gave us free will so we can choose the right path and make Him proud of what He created ... And living this way I hope I can show my children My best teaching.
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